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“Frank Sinatra had a massive johnson.” Sarah looked up from her copy of Marie-Claire at her husband nestled in his armchair reading the Daily Telegraph. She furrowed her brow quizzically. “It says so here. He was incredibly well-endowed in the trouser department. His crowning glory was a real whopper!” “Was it, Phil dear?” Sarah remarked, […]

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One, I am severely hung over. I knew that I’d drank like a fish last night because the hangover I’m experiencing, the one that had the insides of my eyelids feeling like sandpaper, is enough to make me consider stop drinking altogether. Two, this is not my bed. My head is resting on a big […]

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Early last year, my father-in-law passed away. About a month prior, my sister-in-law Marie had moved from another state to help my wife care for him in his final days. Marie wasn’t sure how long she would be staying, or if she and her husband would move down permanently, so she brought a huge amount […]

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I asked her to dance, and she wasn’t too steady on her feet. Her breath reeked of liquor and she had a faraway look. I was twenty-two years old, in a strange city, and had few friends. Dances were the only places I knew for meeting women. It was almost midnight, and I had to […]

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Sean had been the top man in charge of this particular ad agency for the past seven years. Over the years, copy writers, editors, secretaries, financial and legal staff — everyone had come and gone. And over the years he’d managed to replace them, one by one, with the sort of people who made his […]

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Spotting *her* amongst the other dogbots was easy. The canine division of Homebots had, after all, built her based on the photographs and videos I’d given them. She moved… differently than I’d expected. Oh, I hadn’t expected any miracles and after being shown the various production models I’d readily agreed that I couldn’t expect her […]

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“What do you mean you missed?” Mom stared at me with a puzzled frown on her face as I stood there in the bathroom like a dumbstruck lemon trying and failing to explain my first attempt at measuring my spunk. “Uh, well,” I mumbled as I held up the empty measuring beaker for her to […]