Sexual confessions 2.

Nothing happened the next couple of days. I mean, nothing extraordinary. Annie came in to talk after her shower, but nothing more. Not until the third day.

We had gone to bed and were talking as usual. Somehow, we began to talk about Simone. How nice she had been to us and how much fun we’d had. Annie mentioned the confessions and how we had played “confession”.

‘Forgive me Father, for I have sinned?’ Annie said, playfully.

‘Confess your sins my child and thou shalt be forgiven,’ I replied, equally playfully, with no intention of playing the game again.

‘I have had naughty thoughts,’ Annie said, just as Simone did it.

I suddenly didn’t know what to say, but Annie didn’t wait for me to answer.

‘I dream about a man touching me. I dream about him touching me in places only a husband should touch.’ She said.

Her voice sounded different, her breathing faster. I felt myself tense and a part of me badly wanted her to go on, another to stop. The part that wanted her to go on won.

‘How does he touch you, my child,’ I asked, just as I did back then. But the words suddenly meant something. It wasn’t just words we had heard any longer, and didn’t know the meaning of.

‘I am naked and he puts his hands on my stomach. Slowly he moves them up to my tits,’ Annie answered. ‘His fingers brush over my nipples and it feels so good. My nipples become hard from his touch. I want him to pinch them, to play with them.’

I heard myself say: ‘That is very sinful.’

‘But there is more, Father. When I get these thoughts, I have to touch myself. I pinch my nipples, imagining that it is him and that makes me feel so hot. My hands are drawn towards my crotch. I can’t help it, Father.’

Annie was breathing very heavily now. I think I was too. I was in the same kind of trance I had been in, three days earlier, when I had accidentally touched her crotch.

‘It is the devil, my child. He makes you do it.’ I heard myself say.

Even though it was a ritual, a repeat of words we had once heard, it was extremely arousing. I knew what Annie was going to say next and yet I was trembling with excitement and anticipation.

‘I know it’s the devil, Father, but I can’t resist. My fingers part my lips and I have to touch myself in that special place. It feels so good, Father. I imagine that it is him, touching me. I become so hot Father, and I can’t help myself. I have to go on and touch myself until I get relief.’

‘How much do you have to touch yourself to get relief, my child?’ I hissed, short of breath.

‘I pinch my . . . nipples and rub my little pearl. Sometimes, my fingers slip into, you know. . . and in my fantasy, we are united as man . . . and . . . wife.’

Annie sounded awfully short of breath too and there was a long pause. All that could be heard was our breathing. I hoped she would go on, even though I would have given her absolution at this point. But I was hardly able to speak. I just lay there, listening to Annie’s breathing. It was very fast and slightly ragged. Then it stopped. A few seconds later, she began breathing again, gasping for air. Slowly, her breath returned to a deep and relaxed rhythm. I assumed she had fallen asleep. Lately, I’d had a bit of trouble falling asleep myself, battling the images of Annie in my mind and she often held her breath, then gasped and breathed normally again. It was probably some recurring dream she had.

We didn’t talk about the confession-game in the morning. I felt rather embarrassed about it and preferred to forget it. No; part of me preferred to forget it, but a nasty little voice inside my head wanted to repeat it. And that voice was feeding my feeling of guilt, my feeling of doing something wrong.

To feed my fantasies and attempt to eliminate the image of Annie’s nude body from my mind, I concentrated on one of the girls in my class, Catrine. She was a petit girl with a very innocent appearance. Always quiet, always smiling. She usually wore very tight shirts and jeans. Her breasts weren’t as big as Annie’s, but she looked very cute and very sexy in a gentle kind of way.

Over the next couple of days, I had some success. She gradually took over Annie’s place in my fantasies and it made me feel a lot better. Whenever I was close to Catrine, I felt a surge in my stomach. We began talking a little, Catrine and I. I loved standing close to her and inhaling the wonderful aroma of her perfume. The best thing was that I felt she was watching me too, like I was watching her; secretly.

I was still a bit nerdy, but because of the gymnastic training, I had a nice, muscular body. I wasn’t muscular in the bodybuilder-way that Mark was and I didn’t have his smart looks either, but I wasn’t at all bad-looking.

I began to figure out a ways to be with Catrine, alone. It was difficult, because she lived far from me. My initial plan was to invite her to the cinema one evening. We could meet downtown, see a film and then go home. It would be equal distance for both of us. The only problem was to work up the courage to ask her. I couldn’t’ ask her while others were around, I didn’t dare to. I did have her phone number, but whenever I had gathered enough courage to call her, somebody else was using the phone or sitting in the room where the phone was.

It took three long weeks, before my courage and discreet access to the phone coincided. My heart was beating like a scared rabbit as I dialled the number. I just prayed that it would be Catrine who answered the phone.

My prayers were heard.

‘Hello’

‘Eh hello. Catrine?’

‘Yes.’

‘Eh, it’s Dan. I wondered if you wanted to go see a film tomorrow?’ I said, determined to get it over with as fast as possible.

‘Who’s coming?’ Catrine asked.

‘Eh . . . I was thinking . . . just you and me.’ I said and held my breath.

There was a short pause, but it felt like an eternity.

‘No, I don’t think so. I’m going out with my boyfriend. But thanks anyway.’

My heart sank and a big knot formed in my stomach.

‘OK,’ I said, trying not to sound too disappointed. ‘Maybe some other time. See you tomorrow.’

‘See you. Bye.’ Catrine answered and hung up.

I was devastated and felt utterly humiliated. I had finally worked up enough courage to call her and then she already had a boyfriend. I wasn’t really sad, I was scared that she would tell somebody and I would become the laughingstock of the whole school. The rest of the day and the next morning were a nightmare, anxiously awaiting the inevitable confrontation, meeting Catrine in class.

Nothing happened. Catrine acted exactly as she had done before. No giggling girls in small groups, pointing at me and whispering. No funny remarks, nothing. The knot in my stomach, which had been growing to the size of a basketball during the evening and morning, slowly disappeared and by lunchtime, I could only feel a little sting, when I recalled the phone conversation.

During the past three weeks, I had spent a considerable amount of my time in the living room, waiting for the right time to call Catrine, during the past three weeks. That also meant that I hadn’t been in my room, when Annie returned from her daily shower and that had helped keeping her off my mind. Now that I no longer needed to be by the phone, I returned to my room. Catrine sort of drifted out of my fantasies. The first time Annie returned from the shower, she sat down on my bed with her legs pulled up under herself and spread a little, giving me a clear view to her crotch. Annie was back in my fantasies.

Soon it was February and we were now sixteen; both of us. I had recovered from Catrine’s rejection, but not enough that I felt like trying my luck with another girl. One night, in the beginning of February, Annie and I were talking in our beds as usual. We talked about everything and nothing, mostly nothing. I was getting kind of drowsy, when Annie suddenly asked a question, which made me wake up very quickly.

‘Do you want to play Confession again?’ she asked.

Before I had time to think, I had already answered: ‘Yes.’

Annie didn’t hesitate either.

‘Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.’

‘Confess your sins my child and thou shall be forgiven,’ I answered, feeling the excitement build rapidly.

‘I have sinful dreams, Father. I dream of a boy, coming to me, naked. I’m naked too and I open myself for him. He sits down on my bed and his hands touch my skin so lightly. I take his hands and press them against my tits, but he wants to be in control. He takes my hands and holds them tight over my head. I’m helpless and have to let him have his way. He kisses me deeply. His lips leave mine and he plants small kisses down my neck and chest.’

Annie paused, waiting for me to say something. Her confession took my breath away. It wasn’t one of Simone’s confessions, it was something she made up herself.

‘Go on,’ I said, a little out of line.

‘He’s strong, but gentle. His lips close around my nipples and I feel the heat spread from my chest. I can feel his tongue, caressing my nipple. He is driving me insane with his light caresses. He holds my hands with one hand and I can feel his other hand on my thigh. I try to resist him, Father, but he is so strong and he gently forces my thighs apart and slides his hand up, closer and closer to my pussy. Just when I can feel his hands touching me in my most private place, I wake up. It is my own fingers, Father and I can’t stop touching myself as I dreamed he would.’

Annie paused again and it took a moment for me to regain my composure and my ability to speak.

‘It . . . ahem . . . is very sinful, my child,’ I coughed with a hoarse voice.

My brain worked at high speed, trying to find something to say, but I couldn’t make my brain function. It was clouded with the image of Annie’s outstretched body with her hands between her legs.

‘Eh . . . I think you should say three Ave Marias and then take a cold shower to cool the heat inside you.’ I finally said.

‘Do you think it will help Father? The cold shower?’ Annie said, sounding really innocent.

‘I do.’

‘I . . . hope . . . so Father. . . I’m so terribly hot,’ Annie gasped.

We were both quiet. I was extremely hot too. I badly wanted to go to the bathroom and relieve the pressure, but I was afraid it would be too obvious. I could hear Annie shuffling in her bed, probably turning around. Then she held her breath for some time. A strange, muffled noise escaped her, hardly noticeable. She began breathing again, slowly returning to normal. I assumed she was sleeping, until she spoke.

‘Are you asleep?’ she asked.

‘No.’

‘Well, good night then. Sleep tight.’

‘Good night.’

It took a while before I fell asleep. Annie’s “confession” had excited me beyond anything, but it also had me puzzled. She knew a lot more about it than I had thought. The more I thought about it, the more it became obvious that she knew a lot more about it than I did. I had no idea about how to touch a girl to make her feel good; or how a girl would touch me, for that matter.

The next day, Annie didn’t shower until just before we were going to bed. Just before she finished her shower, I heard some excited squeals from the bathroom. When she came out with a towel wrapped around herself, her cheeks were blushing. She didn’t stop to talk, but headed into her own room and to bed.

‘Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.’

She didn’t even ask if I wanted to play, but I was game. As always, I fought a losing battle with my better conscience.

‘Confess your sins my child and thou shall be forgiven,’ I quickly answered.

‘The cold shower didn’t help, Father. It only made my skin more sensitive. I’m so hot, Father. I have to sleep naked or I will run up a fewer. The cold water made my nipples so hard they almost hurt.’

I was about to swallow my tongue. Annie was lying naked in her bed, a couple of feet away.

‘I had to rub them to make them stop hurting, but that only made me hotter,’ Annie continued. ‘And my skin is so sensitive. Feeling the sheets and duvet caress my skin makes me think of warm, soothing hands, caressing me. When I put the duvet between my legs to stop it from rubbing against me, it feels as if there was a boy lying between my legs.’

I could hear Annie shifting in her bed and I saw her, in my inner eye, with the duvet between her legs. I was speechless, just waiting for her to continue. Annie continued to “confess” her sins, her dreams and how it made her touch herself. It was a very exciting repetition of the previous confession, ending the same way as last night. I recommended cold showers again and we said good night. I wasn’t able to fall asleep right them, but eventually I did.

I masturbated, thinking of Annie’s confessions and with the image of her, nude in her bed. Afterwards, I still felt guilty, but I could almost convince myself that it was ok. It was just words and imagination, after all.

I was full of anticipation the following evening and found myself wishing it was bedtime at eight. Again, Annie had postponed her bath until we were going to bed. I had finished in the bathroom, before she showered and was lying in bed, waiting. Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Annie flew through my room, naked. I only caught a glimpse of her bouncing breasts. I could hear that she jumped straight into bed.

‘Have you ever tried to sleep naked?’ was the first thing she said.

Her voice sounded as if she was really cold. She had really been taking a cold shower. She was taking the little game one step further.

‘Uh no, I haven’t,’ I answered.

‘It’s nice. You should try it.’

‘Now?’ I asked, a little anxious.

‘Uh-huh.’

I hesitated. Still, nobody could see me and nobody would ever know. Except Annie of course, but she wouldn’t tell anybody.

‘OK,’ I answered.

Quickly, I took off my pyjamas and briefs. It felt strange to lie in bed, naked. Strange but also exciting. Annie was lying a few feet away, also naked.

‘Are you naked now?’ Annie asked.

‘Yes. Are you . . .?’ I couldn’t make myself ask the question.

‘I am. It feels so good, doesn’t it.’

‘Uhu.’

I just wanted Annie to start her confession. I had turned off the light as soon as Annie was in her bed, but Annie hadn’t turned hers off yet. It was as if she was waiting for something, but finally she turned off her light too and the ritual began with the same sentences; the start of Annie’s confession.

‘ . . . The shower made me so cold, Father. I start to dream about a boy, coming to me, naked. He puts his body over mine to warm me up. I feel the heat spreading throughout my body, especially between my legs. I become burning hot, Father. I have to push off the duvet to avoid burning up. And I dream that he lays down next to me. His strong hands caress my breasts, my tummy and my thighs. His hand slides up my inner thigh, so slowly and reaches my pussy.’

I could hear her push the duvet off and I badly wanted to get up and peek into her room, but it was dark and I wouldn’t be able to see anything.

‘His fingers brush over my pussy, lightly and teasing. I want him to touch me, I want it so much, Father. Is that very bad?’

I had to snap out of my own fantasy to answer.

‘Yes, my child. It’s very bad. What happens next.’

‘I want him so much, but he suddenly disappears. I have to touch myself instead. My fingers become his and I let a finger slip in between the lips . . .’

Annie stopped for a second and gasped. I’m sure her finger was doing what she said it was. I was touching myself in much the same manner Annie was.

‘I’m so hot and wet, Father. It feels so good to touch myself. Why is it a sin, Father?’

The question had me stumped. I had no idea what to answer. Nobody had ever told me that touching myself was wrong. I knew that the church, at least the Catholic Church considered it a sin. I knew there was something in the Bible about Onan, spilling his seed on the barren land, but that was about it.

‘Because the Bible says so. Personally, I don’t think it is a mortal sin, my child.’ I answered.

‘You mean, I’m not doomed. That’s good because it feels . . . sooo . . . goooood.’

Annie sounded very excited. Her breathing was very ragged and I could hear a slurping, wet sound a couple of times. She held her breath and suddenly I knew what was happening. I went through a lot of different emotions: first I was shocked, then very aroused, followed by a feeling of relief — a feeling of not being the only one who had these kinds of feelings. And then the perpetual feeling of guilt. This was wrong. Siblings weren’t supposed to have that kind of feelings towards each other. Even if we only were cousins; in a way, we were brother and sister.

We said good night and I tried to fall asleep, more confused than ever before.

The next five evenings were a repeat of that evening. Even though I felt guilty afterwards, I was able to forget it the next evening.

The first evening, Annie turned to me as I left the bathroom before she went in to take her shower.

‘You will sleep nude, right?’ She asked and without waiting for the answer, she disappeared into the bathroom. I took off my pyjamas and slipped into bed. I didn’t want to be caught by surprise, so when I heard Annie squeal as she turned off the warm water, I kept my eyes glued on the bathroom door. A minute or two later, the door opened and Annie rushed to her room, nude and giggling. My eyes tried to absorb as much as possible of the sight of her nude body in the split second it took her to get from the bathroom to her own room.

The confession ritual was repeated as on the previous evenings, but Annie and her imaginary boyfriend became more and more daring as the days passed.

‘ . . . His fingers part my lips and he lets a finger enter me where no man has entered me before. Slowly, his finger sinks in deeper and it feels so good, Father. I just have to put a finger inside myself and . . . Ummm . . . pretend it is him.’

The second day, she took another step:

‘. . . He kisses my nipples until they are so hard. Then he proceeds down over my tummy, kissing me all over. His strong hands force my legs apart. Oh Father, I’m shivering with anticipation. I feel his hot breath on my pussy. I feel his fingers spread my lips. And then . . . I feel his tongue. . . touch me . . . in that spot where it feels . . . sooo nice . . .’

I wondered how Annie could make up these “confessions” and then tell them to me. But it made me feel more relaxed that she did. I was shy and I found it very difficult to talk about sex or even listen to others talk about it, even though I wanted to. But the darkness and Annie’s boldness made me feel secure.

The third day:

‘ . . . He took my head and guided my mouth to his groin. I was helpless, Father. He was so strong and I had to open my mouth to his tool. But I did it anyway. I wanted it. I wanted to please him with my mouth as he had pleased me with his mouth. I let my tongue swirl around the head . . . ‘

That was almost enough to make me lose my composure without touching myself. I began to consider, if there was a way I could masturbate without her hearing it and without making my bed wet. I could take a cloth or something with me to bed, but I would have to dispose of it somehow. It would have to lie in my room all night and I was afraid that Annie would be able to smell it.

The fourth day:

‘. . . he places himself over me, leaning on his strong arms. I feel his tool, pressing against my opening. It feels so big, but suddenly I feel it enter me. In my dream, his tool fills me.’

I was becoming a little braver and was trying to get a bigger part in the game, asking questions as Father Peter.

‘What do you do, when you dream about that? Do you touch yourself?’ I asked.

‘I can’t help it, Father. I have to fill myself. I put two fingers into myself. He . . . penetrates . . .me . . . deeper and . . .deeeeeper. Oh Father, I want him so much. . .’

She always had to discard the duvet at some point in her confession and the urge to get up and peek was growing.

The fifth day:

‘ . . . He asks me to get down on my hands and knees. I feel him behind me, but I can’t see him, only feel his tool, pressing against my opening. His strong hands grab my hips and he enters me with great force. He pushes me forward, pressing my shoulders down on the bed. He orders me to touch myself, while he fills me again and again. He reaches around me and squeezes my tits. He enters me hard and deep . . . so fast . . . deeep . . . mmmmmmmm faster . . . ‘

The sixth day was a Saturday. My parents had a small dinner party that night. Annie and I had been allowed to drink a glass of wine. We were young adults now, as my dad put it, and my parents thought it best to learn how to behave in the safe environment of our home. So we were occasionally allowed to have some wine and this evening we had even had a weak drink afterwards.

We weren’t drunk in any way, but I felt a little uplifted. Around 11 o’clock, I said I was tired and was going to bed. Annie excused herself too and we went up to our rooms. Annie was very playful and probably a little tipsy too.

‘Are you too tired to hear my confession,’ she asked teasingly, when we got into her room.

‘Of course not,’ I said and added boldly: ‘That was why I wanted to go to bed now.’

‘Hurry up then!’ Annie giggled.

I was finished in no time and left the bathroom to Annie. She showered quickly and came into my room, wrapped in a towel. I had expected her to be rushing through the room, nude, but instead, she sat down at the end of my bed, leaning against the wall.

‘Are you naked?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Show me!’

‘NO!’ I said, blushing and embarrassed. My excitement was already showing.

‘It’s not fair. You have seen me naked,’ Annie protested.

I blushed even more, because I knew she was right.

‘I just want to see. I’ve never seen . . .’ She hesitated, suddenly a little timid, ‘. . . you know. I’ll take the towel off too.’

‘But . . .’

‘On the count of three, ok? Pleeeeease,’ she pleaded in the sweetest voice.

It must have been the wine and of course my desire to see her naked. I shrugged, nodded and Annie began to count.

‘One . . . two . . .’ Annie hesitated and looked at me to make sure I would pull the duvet off.

I sat up in the bed, trying to sit in a way that would hide my predicament. Annie loosened the towel and I took hold of the duvet. We looked at each other, shy but excited, anxiously awaiting the count of three.

‘I’ll start again,’ Annie said, blushing. ‘One . . . two . . . three!’

I pulled the duvet away and Annie pulled the towel off. We had both folded our legs to the side, hiding our most private parts. But Annie’s breasts were in plain view and I couldn’t help staring at them. Annie looked a little disappointed at me.

‘You cheat. Come on, I want to see it.’

Something inside me took over.

‘OK, but then you have to show too,’ I said boldly.

We looked at each other and began shifting our legs. My dick had been squeezed between my thighs and as soon as I moved, it popped up. There wasn’t really anything to hide any more and I sat cross-legged, giving Annie a clear view. I could feel the heat raise in my cheeks and I suddenly felt very ashamed again. I didn’t dare look directly at Annie.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Annie’s crotch. She was leaning against the wall and had spread her legs. She looked a bit timid too, trying not to stare at me, but secretly glancing at my crotch.

We sat like that for a while, secretly studying each other. Annie had red hairs down there like I had, but not as much as me. Only a small patch on top. I noticed for the first time that she had freckles on her chest, all the way down over the top of her breasts. It looked kind of cute.

Annie broke the silence.

‘Is it always like that . . . big?’ she asked.

‘No, it’s only when . . . I get . . . you know, like . . . when I’m looking at you . . . naked,’ I replied, blushing and very timidly.

‘It’s . . . bigger than I thought. Are all men . . . that big?’

‘I don’t know. I haven’t compared myself with anybody.’ I answered.

‘I . . . Haven’t you seen some of the other boys on the gym team in the showers?’ Annie asked, determined to get an answer to her question about size.

‘No . . . well yes, but they are . . . soft. You can’t really tell. I don’t think it’s . . . big.’ I said, not really wanting to talk about it. It made me feel embarrassed to admit to looking at other boys.

Annie shrugged and looked more openly at me. Involuntarily, my dick jerked, making Annie giggle.

‘It’s alive.’ She said, and giggled nervously.

I couldn’t help laughing too. It kind of broke the tense atmosphere. I still didn’t really know what to say. It was very exciting to just sit there, naked. It was a little uncomfortable to sit cross-legged. I took the duvet and my pillow and put them against the headboard. Then I could lean back and sit like Annie. Our legs touched at the ankle. It felt nice too.

It was Annie who took the initiative again.

‘Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.’

I think I had expected her to go to her own room, before we started the game and I wasn’t prepared. It didn’t take me long, though.

‘Confess your sins, my child and thy sins shall be forgiven,’ I answered solemnly.

Annie hesitated for a second, looking at me timidly.

‘I’ve had this fantasy about . . . a boy. I’m lying in my bed . . . and he . . . comes to me . . . and does such wonderful things to me.’

Annie looked down shyly as she spoke. It was funny, but her sudden shyness made me feel more relaxed.

‘What does he do to you that is so wonderful?’ I asked.

‘First he . . . touches my tits and pinches my nipples.’

Annie was looking at me again. I don’t know if it was deliberate, but her hands cupped her breasts and her fingers began to rub the nipples in small circles. It was so exciting to look at.

‘His fingers make my nipples hard. He caresses my tits and nipples until I’m going insane. He makes me so hot, Father. Then his hands slide down over my tummy. . . ‘

Annie’s hands began to slide down, down towards her crotch. My mind was clouded, but completely focused on Annie and her hands. I watched closely as she caressed her inner thighs. She was still talking and I heard it and saw it. Saw her hands move back towards her crotch. She brushed over the lips and the sparse hairs. The fingers spread the lips as “his” fingers were doing in her fantasy. Inside, the skin was red and glistening, a lot of crinkles and folds. It looked wet.

She slid one finger down between the lips. Then up again and circled the top of the folds. She stopped talking, breathing faster. The finger moved faster. She started talking again, telling how she felt his tool at the entrance. She placed a stiff finger between the lips, a little under the finger that moved in small circles. Suddenly, she pushed and the finger disappeared into her. She moaned and arched her back, pushing her chest up and lifting herself from the bed.

I must have been touching myself. I was touching myself! As she arched her back and I saw the finger disappeared, I felt a familiar feeling. I stopped touching myself immediately, but it didn’t help the situation. I froze in panic and watched the eruption helplessly.

Unable to move, my eyes followed the first jet landing on Annie’s chest and tummy. I watched Annie open her eyes, surprised and stare at me. She leaned closer and the next jet, equally powerful, hit her chin and chest. Annie watched the white liquid splash out on her body. Her eyes were wide open in surprise and amazement.

Normally, I loved the feeling I had when this happened, but this was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I wanted to die, I wanted it to stop, I wanted to get away from Annie. It was so embarrassing. Then Annie giggled.

‘Go away!’ I hissed, humiliated and angry.

I regretted it as soon as I saw tears fill Annie’s eyes, but it was too late. Annie rushed into her room, crying.

‘Annie! I didn’t mean it like that . . . ‘

No reply. All I could hear was her weeping. My embarrassment disappeared. Instead, I just felt like a real lousy asshole. I got up and went into Annie’s room. She was lying on her bed, face down on her pillow. She was shivering and weeping.

‘Please don’t cry, Annie. I’m sorry . . . I didn’t mean it. Please stop crying.’

‘You don’t love me. Nobody loves me.’ Annie wept, half muffled by the pillow.

‘I do love you, but what we did was . . . wrong.’

‘Why? We are both over 15.’ Annie answered, angrily.

‘Yes, but we are almost brother and sister. It’s . . .’ but Annie cut me off.

‘We’re cousins. Cousins can marry and all. If we had done it, it would be ok.’ She said, her eyes still filled with tears. ‘You just don’t love me.’

‘I do. You are my best friend. You know that.’ I protested.

‘Then why won’t you touch me?’ Annie said, sounding really hurt.

‘What do you mean?’ I answered, utterly confused.

‘You are the boy in my dreams, stupid.’ Annie said and buried her face in the pillow again.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean deep down inside, I guess I had dreamed that it was me she was thinking off, but I had suppressed it, because it was wrong to think that way, being almost sister and brother. God, I was an idiot.

I put my arms around her trembling shoulders.

‘I’m sorry, Annie. I didn’t think . . .,’ I whispered in her ear.

‘Well, why do you think I told you all those dreams and did those things, stupid?’

‘I . . . I’ve been dreaming about you too. But it just felt wrong . . . I mean, I think of you as my sister and . . . I . . . felt bad.’ I whispered. I felt good finally to say it. ‘Is it really true that cousins can . . . you know, marry?’ I added.

‘My mom’s . . .’ Annie bit herself off. ‘Someone in my family are cousins. It isn’t wrong.’

I squeezed her shoulders and leaned closer to her.

‘I love you so much, Annie.’

‘You really mean it?’ Annie asked and turned to face me.

‘Uhm.’

Annie hid her face in my neck. We said nothing for a while. Then Annie surfaced again. Her eyes were red, but happy again.

‘It was great to see you . . . have an orgasm. That was an orgasm, right?’ Annie asked, a little insecure.

I felt the embarrassment return for a second. But just for a second. Suddenly, it didn’t feel so wrong any more.

‘It was. I . . . want to see you have an . . . orgasm too,’ I answered.

‘Yes, but I think I’m too tired now. Can we just lie close?’ Annie said and looked at me with big, warm eyes.

‘I’m sorry. Yes of course. I’ll do anything for you.’ I said and I meant it.

When Annie had fallen asleep, I went into my own bed. I felt so relieved, so happy. I feel asleep without feeling any guilt for the first time in months.

I slept like a log and didn’t wake up until my father knocked on the door to tell us that breakfast was ready. We always had breakfast together on Sundays. It was one of the few occasions, where we were together, all of us.

It was a wonderful Sunday. Annie and I were together as always, but it was different. A touch of a hand suddenly felt different. A smile or just a glance. I was filled with anticipation. I was longing for the evening and bedtime.

We hadn’t had much snow that winter. One or two days, but it had melted away as fast as it had fallen. Frost and snow hadn’t coincided at all. Winters here are often like that. Maybe that is what makes snow so much more fascinating.

When the heavy snowflakes began to fall and stayed on the ground, Annie wanted to take a walk in the snow. We were too old to go sledding, but it didn’t matter. The snow itself was reason enough.

We walked to the park. The small hill was already crowded with kids on sleds. The layer of snow was way too thin to take the heavy traffic and the snowfall couldn’t keep up. The side of the hill was just icy mud, but the kids didn’t seem to mind.

We walked on with no preset goal. It was so nice to walk in the snow, just being together. Annie suddenly stopped and turned towards me.

‘I love you,’ she said and put her arms around me.

‘I love you too.’

‘Kiss me,’ Annie said.

I kissed her in a brotherly way, just a brief touching of our lips.

‘No, not like that. A real kiss,’ Annie said, pulling me back.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked, ignorant as I was.

‘Like, French kissing. With the tongue and all, you know,’ Annie answered.

She didn’t give me time to admit that I didn’t have a clue. She put her arms around my neck and pulled me close. Our lips touched again. I could feel her tongue, probing tentatively. Instinctively, I did as she did and opened my mouth a little. The tips of our tongues met. Our mouths open a little more and more. Our tongues made love like snakes.

The feeling took my breath away. Maybe it was a combination of not being able to breathe through my nose, because of the frosty weather, and the kiss. Anyway, we had to break after a minute or so. I was dizzy. The whole, white world around me was spinning. It was so arousing.

‘Where did you learn that?’ I uttered, surprised.

‘One of the girls on my team told me how. She told me a lot of stuff. Don’t boys talk about . . . girl stuff?’

‘No. I mean, yes, but not like that . . . you know, how to,’ I answered, timidly.

I was still feeling very uneasy, talking about it. I didn’t need to, not right now. Annie pulled me close again.

The second kiss was even better than the first. I could feel a nice warm feeling, spreading throughout my body. It made me kind of expect the snow to be melting around us. God, it felt good.

Annie must have thought so too. We kissed and kissed until we realised that the heat, spreading in our bodies, didn’t reach our feet. A minute longer and we would have been unable to move, our feet frozen to the ground.

We headed back home. It took me an hour after we had returned to get the heat back into my feet, but it didn’t really matter. I felt light and warm. The rest of the Sunday dragged along. I just wanted to go to bed; to be alone with Annie again. Around nine, I was counting the minutes. We usually went to bed around 10 and I didn’t want to do anything out of the ordinary. I already felt terribly embarrassed, sure that my excitement showed all over.

Finally, ten minutes to ten, Annie announced that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. Once in our room, I was suddenly very nervous. I finished up in the bathroom and opened the door with shaking hands. Annie was still in her own room, but when she heard the door, she appeared in the doorway. Not wearing her bathrobe as usual, but in her panties and bra. Funny, because I often walked around in my jocks, like now, after showering, but Annie never did.

When Annie saw me staring, she blushed and looked down. Somehow, it made me more relaxed. She went into the bathroom.

‘See you in a sec,’ she said. ‘Wait for me.’

I could do nothing but wait. Even if she had taken all night, I wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep.

It felt like hours, but I’m sure she was finished in a matter of minutes. All my concentration was on the sounds from the bathroom. I heard the squealing that told me she had turned off the warm water and finished with a cold shower. Heard her turn off the water. Then the sound of teeth brushing and, finally, the sound of the handle being turned.

She had a towel wrapped around her. Her cheeks were blushing and her eyes shining. I was sitting up in my bed, staring at her. She was just standing there, in the doorway.

‘Are you . . . naked?’ She asked.

‘Uh-huh,’ I said and nodded, eagerly.

It looked like she was going to take off the towel, but she changed her mind and kept it on. Like yesterday, she sat down at the foot of my bed. We looked timidly at each other in silence. For the first time, I took the initiative. I don’t know where I got the courage.

‘Confess your sins, my child and thou shall be forgiven.’

Annie giggled nervously and blushed.

‘I . . . sit on his bed and I’m naked, except for a towel. He . . . reaches over and pull the towel away.’

She stopped and looked at me in nervous anticipation. Leaning forward, I took hold of the towel and pulled. Annie had to lift herself a little before I could remove the towel.

‘He removes the duvet and reveals that he’s naked too.’

I pulled the duvet away and tugged it behind me.

‘He’s . . . so . . . big and hard. He . . . moves closer to me . . . and he puts his hand on my breast . . .’

I followed her direction. Tentatively, I put my hand on her breast. It was so soft. I could feel her nipple in the palm of my hand. Annie closed her eyes and sighed.

‘He squeezes it a little . . . caresses it . . . His fingers . . . touch my nipple . . . rub it . . . yes . . . He take it . . . between his fingers. . . and squeezes it . . . yes, a little harder. . . yessss . . .’

She whimpered and I was afraid I had pinched it too hard. Frightened, I removed my hand.

‘I’m sor. . .’ I started to say but Annie cut me off.

‘No, don’t stop,’ she said.

I put my hand back on her breast. Annie sighed and leaned back, letting me caress her breasts and nipples. I shifted around, getting up on my knees. It was a little more comfortable and I could use both hands. My bed wasn’t very wide and I had to be careful not to fall off.

After a while, Annie started her “confession” again.

‘He moves his hand down over my tummy, down to my thighs and makes me spread my legs.’

It was easier said than done. Annie’s legs were trapped between the wall and me and I had to pull her left leg up and over my legs to be able to spread them. It was awkward and took a bit of time and giggling, before I was kneeling between Annie’s legs.

I put my hands on her inner thighs. God, her skin was so smooth. Slowly, I slid my hands up, but stopped before I reached her crotch. I was still a little uncertain about how far I was supposed to go. Annie felt my hesitation.

‘His hands caress my thighs . . . they move up . . . to my pussy and touch . . .’ she took a deep breath as my fingers brushed over her crotch. ‘He . . . his fingers . . . part my lips . . .’

I was staring at her crotch, trying to follow her direction, but a little uncertain about how to do it. Tentatively, I put my fingers on her lips. Her crotch was so hot.

The lips were much softer than I had expected. I tried to remember what Annie had done last night. Cautiously, I spread the lips and gazed at the glistening, red folds that were exposed. Annie was breathing heavily and her thighs were quivering.

‘His . . . finger touches me . . . between . . . the lips,’ Annie gasped with closed eyes.

Very, very cautiously, I let the tip of my finger touch the delicate skin between her lips. It was slippery. Annie gasped for air and in a brief second, her body tensed. I retracted my finger.

‘More,’ Annie hissed, opening her eyes and looking at me with blurred eyes, ‘touch me.’

My finger returned and tentatively, I moved it a little up and down, like Annie had done yesterday. She was really wet down there. Annie’s hips began to move up and down very slowly. She had closed her eyes again and tilted her head back. I tried to follow her movements. Apparently, that wasn’t what she wanted me to do. She grabbed my hand and guided my finger to the top of her crotch where the lips met. I could feel a little hard nub under my finger.

Annie moved the tip of my finger up and down over the nub.

‘There,’ she gasped and let go of my hand.

I rubbed the little nub gently. Her hips continued to move up and down faster. Gradually, she slid closer and closer to me until her buttocks rested against my knees and her legs were spread wide around me. Her breathing was ragged. Her hands were clenching the sheet. Her hips began to move more strongly. She held her breath and her body strained until she stood like a bow over the bed. Her tummy convulsed. It looked so violent, as if she was being tortured. Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and rubbed herself against it very hard and fast. She gasped for air, whimpering and her body began to jerk, rigidly.

I watched, astounded and unable to do anything, as Annie ground herself violently against my hand . . . until she just held my hand tightly against her crotch, panting and covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked, when I regained control over my voice.

‘God yes,’ she panted and opened her eyes. ‘Did I break your hand?’

She let go of my hand and I must admit that it was a bit sore. She had twisted it into a slightly unnatural position.

‘I think it is okay,’ I said and rubbed my wrist.

She pushed herself to an upright position, still sitting with her legs spread around me, her buttocks touching my knees. Her eyes moved down towards my crotch.

‘Can I touch it?’

‘Yes.’

Her fingers brushed lightly over the shaft.

‘It’s so smooth,’ she said, surprised.

She formed a fist around the shaft and held it. Her warm hand felt so good, better than I had ever been able to imagine. My dick jerked in her hand and it made her giggle excitedly.

‘It’s . . . moving.’ She said, excited.

‘What do I do?’ she asked, after holding it for a while.

‘Eh, my legs are about to cramp,’ I said and began to rearrange myself.

I leaned back on my elbows and got my legs out from under myself. It was a lot more comfortable. Annie closed her hand around my dick again, leaning forward to get a closer look.

‘What do you want me to do? Can I make you squirt like yesterday?’ Annie asked.

For a moment, the embarrassment returned, but then I realised that I had just watched Annie have an orgasm. My excitement helped me overcome my embarrassment.

‘Hold it a little tighter . . . pull down . . . then move up again . . .’ I gasped as she began to move her fist up and down.

She was excited and tense, concentrating on her hand and my dick. It felt a million times better than my own hand.

‘Faster,’ I managed to gasp.

Annie’s hand gripped me a little tighter and moved up and down faster and faster. I could feel it approaching, much stronger than ever before. I didn’t think of warning her. As the first spurt erupted, everything went black. I didn’t see how Annie reacted. It was an overwhelming orgasm.

Annie kept moving her hand up and down until I stopped her. We looked at each other. Annie had globs of my fluids on her chin, her chest and in her hair. I guess she must have leaned over me, when I began to spurt. The rest had landed on my tummy and chest. I would probably have been very embarrassed if Annie hadn’t smiled the way she did, so happy and lovingly.

We sat there, looking at each other until Annie looked over my shoulder at the clock on my table.

‘We better clean up and go to bed. It’s after eleven,’ Annie said.

‘Oops. Better turn out the light in case mom or dad comes up here,’ I said and jumped out of bed.

We helped each other wash my cum away. Just before Annie went into her own room, she stopped and turned to me. We just sort of drifted into each other’s arms and kissed deeply. The heat began to spread in my body, just as it had done when we kissed before. I didn’t want to stop, but we had to.

‘We’ll be alone tomorrow afternoon,’ Annie said. ‘Good night and have pleasant dreams.’

‘You too.’