ASSTR
categories

Orgy in the woods

10/31/2024

In the dark, the cold sucked the warmth from Glen as he lay on the ground near the edge of the woods. The ground had begun to give up its heat at the end of September as nights cooled down. By the end of October, the ground was cold. Lying upon it, the ground felt like ice. The night air was chill, the faint breeze cut through his clothes making him even more miserable. He shivered, but did his best not to make noise.

The past two days had been more exhausting than a human being should have to experience. He had made the funeral arrangements for Cliff. Spaces for parking twenty cars behind Cliff’s house had taken him hours to clear. He had taken care of the twins and CJ, none of whom wanted to leave his side. Last night, he had written an editorial for the next edition of the magazine that explained what happened when narrow minded people decided that you were evil. The hardest thing to deal with had been the press. Gathering in town like vultures circling a dead cow, they wouldn’t leave him alone.

The funeral had lasted longer than expected and was very well attended. Even the twins were surprised by how many people knew Cliff and liked him. Oliver and his whole family had shown up. Just about every customer that he had ever helped in the store was there. After a request from the pastor of the church, they had decided to give people a chance to get up and tell a story about Cliff. The number of stories about how he had helped this person or that person was overwhelming. The twins cried through most of it; CJ was inconsolable.

Glen’s recollections of the funeral were interrupted when the radio ear-piece crackled. George announced, “A caravan of cars has just gone by our place. They’ll be there soon.”

A minute later another voice said, “The bastards just turned onto the road.”

Glen pressed the button that would allow him to talk. He said, “Okay everyone, get comfortable and stay still. You won’t be cold much longer. It’s show time.”

Glen took his own advice and shifted to where he would be more comfortable. The change in position was necessary. He could hear others shifting around him as a sudden need to piss flooded over him. Another crackle followed. Sue, their researcher, said, “They’ve stopped in front of the other house. Someone has gotten out and they are checking out the place.”

Glen waited for the next update. He had placed people at key points along the road to make sure that they didn’t end up with them coming through the woods behind them. He was glad that he had done that now. There were people in the woods around the Metchette home. He had been afraid that they would attack there thinking that the twins were in the house. To convince them otherwise, the door was still open from when he had kicked it in the other night.

Another crackle on the radio and then Sue announced, “The man went into the house. He didn’t find anyone and is on his way back to the cars.”

Glen smiled, happy that his ploy had worked. Everything was going exactly like he had planned. All of the people helping had park in the woods in the area he had cleared earlier. Their cars would not be visible unless someone went behind the house and followed the path there for a good distance. He had put it there for that reason and one other. Everyone that volunteered had to drive past the spot where Cliff had been staked and burned. It was a very visible reminder of the type of people with whom they were dealing. He didn’t want anyone to feel guilty for their actions tonight and a reminder that they were dealing with a pack of murderers would help assure that.. He hoped that no one would feel bad for anything they did tonight.

The ear-piece crackled again. Oliver said, “They’ve stopped in front of the drive and are getting out. They are all armed.”

Glen didn’t say anything and wouldn’t say anything until he gave the order to fire. In the darkness, he couldn’t make out much other than a few human figures moving across the field. The moon, a little past full was hidden behind clouds. CJ said over the radio, “They are at quarter field. Get ready with the lights. Front and left only.”

He glanced at the hunting stand in the corner of his property where CJ, with night vision glasses, watched the religious fanatics move towards his house. Her position allowed her to spot anyone trying to sneak around the edges of the woods.

The fanatics moved directly toward the house, spreading out as they went. The lights in the house were on and a dummy was placed by the window. CJ said over the radio, “They are at midfield. Trio, your target is in the back. Your call now.”

Glen took a deep breath before pressing the talk button. With a calmness that he didn’t feel, he said, “Lights and Fire at will.”

The lights of the house came on illuminating two dozen men spread out across the field. Most of the fanatics raised their rifles and fired blindly at the house. Glen had expected that. With the lights shining in the eyes of the fanatics and his people in the dark, they had a great advantage.

Glen looked through the sight of his rifle at Anderson and taking a deep breath let half of it out. Holding his breath, he put the crosshairs in the center of Anderson’s chest and squeezed the trigger. He could hear the twins fire together a split second later. Anderson flew back at least six feet. The distance covered by Anderson when he was hit, suggested to Glen that the twins had aimed at him also. His was the first shot from the people in the woods, but it was immediately followed by a thunderous roar from each side of him.

He worked the bolt on his gun to put another round in the chamber and took aim. He finally had a clear shot at the Reverend Jonathan Corwin. Rather than aiming at his chest, he lowered the scope until it was aimed at his stomach. He squeezed the trigger and watched the Reverend collapse to the ground holding his stomach. The Reverend stayed on his knees for a second and then fell forward.

By now, the majority of the men that had been sneaking toward the cabin were on the ground. The others, realizing they were exposed and without cover turned to ran back towards their cars. Glen watched as they fell to the hail of bullets around them. He fired a round at one of the men and watched him drop. He put another round in the rifle by working the bolt and aimed at a fourth man. The man dropped before he had a chance to fire. He looked around for another target, but didn’t find one.

A pair of men who had been well behind the rest actually made it to the road. Shotguns wielded by Oliver and his uncles sounded. In the field, no one was left standing. Without targets, everyone stopped shooting. The sudden silence was as deafening as the shooting had been.

Glen remembered that one of the Special Forces guys had told him that most fire fights last for less than two minutes. He wondered how long this one had lasted. It felt like forever, but he only had enough time to get off four shots and had only fired three times. He imagined that less than two minutes had passed between the first and last shot.

He took a minute to scan the field for movement. There wasn’t any. Glen stood up and touched the button on his radio. He spoke into the microphone, “Okay folks. It’s time for most of you to go home. The Sheriff will be here in about thirty minutes and there’s no need for him to know who was here. Follow the ropes back to your cars. Let Sue know that you have left. If anyone is hurt or missing, we don’t want to find out to late to help them. I personally want to thank everyone that came tonight.”

He could hear calls from along the woods as people shouted, “You’re welcome.”

Wanda and Sandra came over to Glen. They had their arms around each other, spiritually supporting one another. Leaning over to them, he kissed them both. Worried about their safety, he said, “You had better get in the house. CJ will join you there.”

They looked towards the house and didn’t move. Hugging them both, he said, “I love you so much. I just want to know you’re safe.”

They smiled at him and then walked over to the cabin while he watched them go. They stayed in the dark and approached the rear of the house. The door opened well before they reached the cabin as CJ entered it. He watched the field checking for any movement and checked their progress to make sure that they reached the door safely. The door opened, but he didn’t move until they had entered the cabin.

He turned and strode out into the field carrying his rifle at the ready. If he spotted any movement, he was going to fire. He was a solitary figure moving in the open space and looked small. His shadow stretched across the length of the field, a silhouette painted on the trees at the far end. He walked with a purposeful stride until he reached the first body. He knelt down and checked it for signs of life. There were none.

He went from body to body checking each one. He had not realized just how bad a bullet from a hunting rifle could tear someone up. Of course, almost everyone was using rifles that could bring down a charging Bull Moose. He came across Anderson’s body. Three shots, all of them within an inch of each other were centered on the front of his chest. There was nothing left of his back where the bullets had exited.

Glen didn’t feel remorse for the damage done to Anderson. Anderson had seen the evil that the Reverend Jonathan Corwin had spread before joining his group. He had seen Wanda battered and bruised by that cowardly attack. The fact that he had joined, signified to Glen that the man was basically evil. The attack on the Sheriff was a cowardly move. He had no pity to spare for a man that would utilize a man’s medicine as a weapon against him.

Glen continued checking bodies, looking for any that may have survived. He found himself checking the same people twice and realized that he had been walking in circles. He needed some way of marking who he had checked so that he didn’t walk over to them again.

He stopped his search when he reached the Reverend Jonathan Corwin. The man was still moving and groaning. Glen knelt down next to him after making sure there wasn’t a gun within reach of the man. The Reverend Jonathan Corwin, voice weak from his injuries, said, “Demon, you’ve killed a lot of good Christians. I know your master in hell is happy.”

Glen was quiet for a moment and then said, “We didn’t hunt you down. We didn’t threaten your people. We didn’t jump your wives and beat the hell out of them. We didn’t grab one of your people and burn them at the stake. You did all of that and yet you see us as evil?”

“You are a Satanist. You killed Christians working for the glory of God.”

“All injuries your people received were delivered in self defense.”

The Reverend was livid. His rage gave his voice strength as he said, “My people have fought witchcraft for centuries. My children shall continue the work of the Lord and see that you are sent to hell.”

“Give it up already. The only ones you are sending to hell are your followers.”

“Never. Evil must be stopped.” The Reverend twisted on the ground from the pain in his abdomen.

Glen answered, “Today, good triumphed over evil. I know you won’t believe that, but it did.”

Glen looked up as Oliver strolled over to him. He could tell that Oliver had been pushed almost to his limits. There was a tension in the way he moved that Glen had never seen in him before now. Oliver had gone from car to car along the street checking to make sure that no one was in them. They had not seen anyone stay with the cars, but he had to check. He had never been so scared in his life as when he went from car to car expecting to get shot at any second.

Oliver stopped and examined a couple of the bodies as he came driven by the fear that one of them would sit up and shoot him. Taking his time to reach Glen, he knelt down on the other side of Reverend Corwin. Looking at the man on the ground, he asked, “Are you the Reverend Jonathan Corwin?”

The Reverend’s eyes grew large at the sight of the black man., convinced he was the master of lies come to gloat over his victory. He shouted, “Satan! Be gone!”

Oliver laughed at the comment with a chilling effect on the Reverend. Of course, it only made sense that Satan was a black man. The man’s lack of imagination was staggering. There was no way that Oliver could convince the Reverend that he was a devoutly religious man. He had actually stopped by his church on the way here to get blessed by the preacher – asking that a prayer be said over him to protect him from evil.

All goodness aside, he couldn’t resist the temptation the Reverend presented. He looked up to heaven for forgiveness and said, “I came here to send your soul to hell. You were a most perfect vessel for evil, but failed your mission.”

The Reverend screamed in terror as he believed the statement. With a weak gesture he pointed to Glen and shouted, “He’s the evil one.”

Resisting the temptation to look at Oliver, Glen said, “May God have mercy on your soul. You were corrupted by pride, that most insidious of mortal sins, and committed murder in your desire for power over your followers.”

The Reverend didn’t appear to hear a word Glen stated. His eyes, wide with fright, were fixed on Oliver. His forehead broke out in a cold sweat, fed by fear. Oliver said, “He’s a good man and is protected by God. He fought evil this night and won. You are the evil one here.”

Glen almost laughed aloud at that, but kept control of himself. He could see the realization cross the Reverend’s face as he considered his life. Over the last few minutes he had begun to see the evil that he had done in the Lord’s name. The terror felt by the Reverend as he imagined the hell he was facing was plainly written across his face.

Oliver reached out for the Reverend. The Reverend let loose a loud scream of terror and died before Oliver had a chance to touch him. Checking for a pulse and not finding one, he stood up and said, “I’m probably going to go to hell for that, but I just couldn’t resist. It wasn’t right for him to die thinking he was the good guy.”

Glen realized that the Reverend had died of fright. He didn’t think it was possible, even though he had grown up his entire life hearing that phrase. He said, “I understand why you might feel guilt. However, you also gave him one last chance to repent before he died. That was something that his pride wouldn’t have allowed him to admit unless faced with the devil himself.”

“Perhaps you’re right. Maybe it was for the good after all.”

Glen stood up as the sound of a siren broke the quiet of the night. Saddened, he looked around at the scene of death arrayed on his beautiful front lawn. He knew that he would never be able to look upon it the same way as he had in the past. Aloud, he said, “They ruined this place of beauty for me.”

Putting a hand on Glen’s shoulder, Oliver said, “The seasons shall wash the land clean.”

Glen looked down at himself and asked, “What can wash my soul clean?”

The sight of Glen standing there with filled with self-doubt hurt Oliver. He had seen how Glen had tried to protect Cliff and the twins. He said, “The only sin that I’ve seen here tonight was the misbegotten pride that those people had. They placed themselves above man, law, and country. They thought they were the right- hand of God. What is that? Pride.”

Glen sighed and said, “You’re right. Still, I feel dirty.”

“That’s because you’re a good man,” replied Oliver.

Glen led Oliver to the house to wait for the Sheriff. The sirens slowly moved closer, but were still quite distant. The Sheriff had promised to take his time responding to the call unless he had been told that all hell had broken loose. Since the call to the office had been a normal sounding emergency call, he took his time.

At the house, the twins, CJ, and, Harvey, the owner of the restaurant, were drinking coffee. Everyone’s hands were shaking slightly as they held the cups. A danger induced Adrenaline rush had that effect on the body. Glen looked around the room and then examined the women more carefully, seeking any sign of harm. Everyone, despite the expected after effects of the excitement, looked calm. He didn’t trust it. He asked, “Is everyone alright?”

Wanda answered, “No, but…”

“… it’s better now…”

“… that we don’t have…”

“… to be afraid.” Sandra finished the sentence. Glen noticed that the more dangerous the situation, the more the twins thought and acted alike. Those kinds of situations seemed to make them fuse closer together. It would be hours before they stopped completing each other’s sentences.

He said, “They are all gone. There’s no one left to worry about.”

The twins answered in one voice, “Thank God.”

Glen turned to CJ and asked, “How are you doing?”

CJ frowned as she said, “I hate to say this, but that felt good and horrible both. I feel guilty about my actions, but satisfied knowing that they’ve paid for Cliff’s death and that I was part of taking them down.”

Glen put a hand on CJ’s shoulder. He said, “What you are feeling is completely normal. I don’t know what to tell you to make you feel better. Perhaps you might want to talk to Helena about what you are feeling. You are going to have mixed emotions about this for a long time. I still have nightmares about Amos Orvin and what I did to him. I’ve never regretted it, but I have a hard time accepting my role in his death at times.”

Smiling up at him, grateful at the knowledge that what she was feeling was normal, CJ said, “Thanks. That helps.”

He went back to the twins and joined them on the couch. The radio crackled in his voice as Sue reported, “everyone that came here has left. I’m on my way out now. Have a nice one folks.”

Glen touched the radio button and said, “You too, Sue. Thanks a bunch.”

Oliver went to CJ and hugged her. The two of them moved to the dining room and sat together at the table holding hands. Watching them, Glen was glad that Oliver was here for CJ as she needed someone for her and her alone. He knew that she always felt like the third wheel when Glen was with the twins. She needed comfort right now and the full attention of someone.

Harvey waited patiently out of the way, sipping his coffee from the cup held in trembling hands. Glen turned to him and stated, “You helped out significantly. I hope that none of their shots came close to you.”

Harvey sat back in the recliner with eyes wide. He looked around for a second and then asked, “They shot at me?”

Glen pointed to the window behind him. “Check out the window.”

The man looked at the glass and noticed the bullet holes for the first time. Somewhat ashamed of himself, he said, “I’ll tell you the truth, I was so scared that I huddled up to the wall after I turned on the lights. I didn’t notice anything until it got quiet.”

“You did exactly what you were supposed to do. There wasn’t a person here that wasn’t scared enough to piss in their pants. That goes for me too. In fact, when I said that it was show time, I suddenly got this urge to go to the bathroom.”

Wanda and Sandra giggled at that. Wanda said, “We thought we were the only ones that felt that way.”

Sandra shook her head and said, “We had a hard time staying still because of our bladders.”

Harvey laughed, feeling reassured that he hadn’t been the only one scared. He said, “Well, it’s nice to know that I was in good company.”

There was a knock on the door. Glen started in surprise but realized that it was probably safe since the front of the house was lit up with police lights. After checking that everyone was okay, Glen carefully opened the door. Dale stepped into the cabin and looked around. He said, “Let’s see. I count six of you. So you six took care of all of those people out there?”

Glen answered, “Well, Harvey stayed in here and turned on the lights so that we could see them. He doesn’t like guns.”

The Sheriff nodded and said, “So the five of you did all that damage out there?”

Glen took a look at the others gathered there, and said, “I’ll take full responsibility.”

Dale said, “You know that there are wanted posters on half the men out there. You forget that some of them were escaped prisoners. Are you taking the credit and hence the reward?”

Glen looked at the Sheriff in surprise, but chose to continue as the sole focal point. Looking out the window, he said, “If there were such a set of rewards, then I would donate all of that money to the town. Perhaps to be used for an extension to the library or new uniforms for the high school band.”

Dale, recognizing that Glen was willing to take all of the blame, motioned for him to come outside. Outside, Dale pointed to the front of the house. Glen turned and looked at it. The fanatics had been carrying semi-automatic weapons and now the whole front of his cabin was riddled with bullet holes. He stared at it in awe and said, “Shit! I had no idea.”

Dale laughed and said, “You’re lucky you didn’t try to fight them from inside the cabin.”

Glen said, “Thick wood walls. Not one bullet made it through. The windows are shot up, though.”

“Come with me.” Dale led Glen back out into the field. There were about twenty state troopers walking across the pasture. They were marking bodies with little flags as they found them. There were bodies spread all over the field.

Glen almost tripped over one of the bodies and shouted, “There’s one here.”

One of the troopers came over and marked it with a flag. Glen looked at the gun lying next to the body and realized that it was a semi-automatic. For all he knew, it could have been converted to fully automatic. He asked the trooper, “How many guns like that have you guys found?”

The trooper looked down at the gun and said, “Everyone of them that I’ve seen was carrying one of those. It looks to me like it has been converted for auto fire. They came here meaning business.”

Glen nodded as his suspicion that they would come ready to kill without compunction was proven correct. He was lucky they had found the backup. If it had only been the four of them, they would have surely died. The fact that the fanatics were surprised and wiped out before they could figure out where Glen and his people were hidden had been significant in determining who won and who lost. The lights blinding them had worked very much in his favor.

As the trooper went back to looking for bodies in the field, the Sheriff stated, “Your plan, whatever it was, worked well.”

“I was lucky.”

The Sheriff said, “Would you like to know something really funny?”

“Sure, I could use a good joke about now,” replied Glen as he looked across the field.

“The guy wasn’t born Jonathon Corwin, he changed his name to that about ten years ago. He isn’t even related to Jonathon Corwin of the witch trials,” said the Sheriff. Seeing the look of disbelief on Glen’s face, he added, “The Reverend was a lousy historian. The actual Judge Jonathon Corwin disbelieved most of the charges of witchcraft.”

Snorting, Glen said, “Our lives would have been a lot better if he had been a better historian.”

The Sheriff replied, “I doubt it. He would have said that he was a descendant of the prosecutor or someone else.”

Glen was about to answer when there was a shout from across the field. They went over to the excited trooper. He was kneeling over someone that was still moving. Glen squatted next to him and asked, “Who is he?”

The trooper answered, “He says his name is Kurt Carleton.”

Glen looked carefully at the man and said, “He’s the baby faced guy that attacked Wanda and put her in the hospital.”

The Sheriff had noticed the same thing. This guy fit her description of the attacker exactly. He asked, “Have you arrested him?”

“Of course. I also read him his rights. You can ask away.”

Glen didn’t want to ask questions. Instead, he wanted to poke a finger in the man’s wound and stir it around causing as much pain as possible. Restraining himself from his urge, he said, “Tell me about the burning.”

Kurt spat out, “We burned that demon spawn and sent him back to hell like he belonged. We tied him up and doused him with gasoline. You should have heard him scream when we lit the fire.”

Glen really wanted to his finger in the man’s wound. He wished that he could cause as much pain as he could. With a snarl, he responded, “I heard him scream, you sick fuck.”

“I would have danced to watch you burn.”

Glen growled as he asked, “So, were you the one that tied him up?”

“No, I lit the fire.”

Glen lurched forward intending to strangle the guy, but Dale held him back. It took him several minutes, but Glen finally calmed down. He said, “You’re an evil bastard. There’s nothing in your heart but hate.”

“I’m a servant of God. You’re the evil one that stood in the way of our work! That demon spawn committed heresy. He had to die for his sins. The harlots should have died for their sins tonight.”

Glen frowned and looked away. This man was clearly sick. He asked, “What God do you serve? It clearly isn’t the one that told us to Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us, Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone, and Judge Not Least Ye Be Judged.”

The man spat, “You twist the words of the Lord so that you can get away with sinning. He detests demons like you.”

Glen looked at the Sheriff as he said, “I’ve always wondered if truly evil people saw themselves as evil. I can’t imagine someone good taking such pleasure in the misery of others. Yet, this guy is convinced he’s not evil.”

The man on the ground started raving about how he would have loved to watch the twins roast. He would have made Glen watch. Not much of what he said was even coherent. The words reminded him of Amos Orvin’s last threats to Glen. Glen had killed Amos for those threats. Glen looked up at the Sheriff and asked, “I assume the EMS people will treat him.”

Dale nodded and replied, “Of course.”

“You should let him die.”

Dale said, “You can’t mean that.”

“You didn’t see Cliff burning. You have no idea the horror that was frozen on his face from the moment of his death. It sickens me that this man appears to have enjoyed that. He needs to die.” Glen glared at the man on the ground with murder in his eyes.

Dale looked at Glen in horror, wondering if Glen had become such a cold hearted killer. He asked, “Why do you say that?”

“It’s the only way the twins or I will be safe. He’s never going to give up on killing us.”

In a way, Dale understood the position Glen was taking. He wondered how he would feel knowing that someone out there was so dedicated to his death. He grabbed Glen and led him back towards the house. Just outside the cabin, he stopped and looked at Glen noticing the anger on his face. He shouted, “Snap out of it Glen. You got them all and he’s going nowhere for a long time.”

Saddened, Glen looked at the Sheriff and asked, “You think we got them all? No, we only got the heads of the family. There are kids out there that have been brainwashed to that same kind of thinking. Their wives have been beaten into submission and acceptance of that twisted world view. They will honestly believe that we are demons and should be killed for murdering their husbands and fathers. Do you really think we got them all?”

Dale sighed and asked, “Are you saying that you have to kill all of their families?”

Glen shook his head as he knew that he could never do anything like that. His shoulders slumped like a man defeated. He said, “There’s no way I can do that. I’m not like them. We’re not like them. It’s just that we can’t be stupid. We aren’t safe and won’t ever be safe again.”

To say that he was worried about Glen’s mental health would have been an understatement. He understood Glen’s reasoning, but he couldn’t accept that people would hold a grudge against them like that. Then he thought back to the ravings of that madman out in the field. He asked, “What were you thinking when Kurt was making those threats against you?”

“I was remembering Amos. He and Kurt talked exactly alike. They made the same kinds of threats. They were going to kill the twins and make me watch. Then I was going to die a horrible death.”

Dale was quiet and looked back at the EMS personnel working on Kurt. Perhaps Glen was right. Amos had tried three times to kill the Metchettes. It was odd that the Metchettes had been targeted so many times. In a soft voice, the Sheriff asked, “Why do you think the Metchettes have been the targets so many times?”

Glen laughed and looked at the Sheriff as if he had asked if the sky was really blue. He said, “You and I are just normal people, with our individual passions. We are jaded. We’ve seen a lot of the ugliness of life and it has made us hard inside. The Metchettes saw ugliness and responded with fear rather than anger. In spite of everything that has happened to them and even after what they’ve done today, they are still innocents. Evil feeds on that.”

“You don’t think they’ve lost their innocence?”

Glen looked at the Sheriff and pointed at the twins in the house. They could watch them through the window. The twins were serving coffee to Harvey, treating him like a guest. He asked, “Do those two look like jaded people to you?”

The twins brought out some cake and sat there talking to Harvey, finding out more about him and his wife. CJ and Oliver had joined them in the living room. Despite the traces of fear and anger remaining on most faces, the twin’s faces were shining, announcing an eagerness for life. Less than an hour after a major gun battle, they were already reaching out to other people with genuine interest. The Sheriff sighed as he said, “You’re right.”

Glen said, “The reason these madman threatened me with making me watch the Metchettes get tortured was that they wanted to crack that thick shell that I’ve built against the world. They wanted to drain the last bit of innocence from me. They wanted to suck that residue of marrow from my bones.”

“What will you do now?”

Glen sighed and watched the twins move around in the cabin playing hostess. He finally answered, “I’m going to continue to protect them. They are a gift to the world and must be protected.”

“What about you?”

“Me? I’m an old embittered man that has lost too much and seen too much evil. My role now in life is as guardian. I’ll watch over them and make sure that no one harms them. I’ll keep my thoughts to myself so that I don’t hurt them. I’ll love them the best that I can. In the grand scheme of things, I really don’t matter much.” Glen knew that by the morning, they would be ready to make love to him. They would snuggle up to him to enjoy the comfort of his arms and the safety he represented. It wasn’t a bad future for a man like him.

Dale and Glen went to the pickup truck and lowered the tailgate. The cold metal chilled their asses when they sat on it. Dale asked, “Do you envy them?”

“No, I don’t. You can’t envy fire for giving off heat and light. You can’t envy the twins for giving off love and delight of life.”