How was the dildo?

Judy stopped talking and sat there with a speculative look in her eye. We were drinking tea in her kitchen. It made me nervous when she looked at me like that.

“You seemed to… react to that,” she finally said. She sees things. She’d been telling me about her love life, getting quite detailed, and I must have given away my curiosity. I felt so embarrassed–it was almost like she could see right into my mind, and that was one thing I *didn’t* want her to do! “Are you *interested* in that?”

“No!” She’d been talking about anal sex! Her and her husband! She can talk about anything–some people are like that. But the worst part about it is that I was lying. I don’t know what it is with me, but I’ve always been intrigued… or even *attracted* to the idea. No, I’ve never done it–I’d never bring it up, and I don’t think I’d even be able to admit my curiosity if someone asked me.

“Just as I thought!” she replied. She didn’t believe my answer for a second. I could see that. Still, I tried to keep up the pretense. She continued: “You’re not going to admit it, are you? Don’t you know you have a face that reveals every one of your thoughts?”

“Judy! Be quiet!” I’m afraid I was whining.

“So you’re intereted in anal sex! Ever done it?”

“Judy!”

“Obviously not. Imagine that: the shy girl with the secret fantasy! And you don’t have anyone to do it with now, either.” She paused, but I didn’t answer. Actually, I was speechless. Finally she went on: “Did you ask any of those boyfriends?”

“Judy, I’d really rather not talk about this.”

“Now *there’s* something I didn’t know!” She has a way of being sarcastic. “Of course you didn’t. And you won’t ask your next one either, will you?”

“Please! Can’t we talk about something else?”

“Listen–I’ve got the thing for you,” she said and jumped up. I sat there, wondering how I got myself into this situation. She was back in a minute, holding a little brown bag, which she handed to me. I peeked inside. There was a dildo!

“Judy, I don’t want this!”

“You *need* it. No boyfriend. And you can try out your fantasy in the privacy of your own home.” She smiled brightly.

I pushed the bag away. “I’m not taking it,” I insisted. I was wrong. When I was leaving, there was no stopping Judy and ended up with the bag stuffed in my purse.

So next time I’m over, what’s the first thing she says? “Well, how do you like it?”

“What?”

“The dildo! Your rear!”

“Judy, I’m not going to do anything like that! I should have brought it back but I forgot about it.”

“No, you keep it for a while. Give yourself time to get up the nerve.”

“Judy, you have a dirty mind.”

She giggled. “I know!” she replied, with enthusiasm. “Listen, I know what you need!” She was gone again. I shuddered to think what she’d return with this time! It was a magazine. A small one and she put it in my purse herself. “Reading material,” she explained.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see,” she said with a leer.

And I did. When I got home, I did look at it. It was erotic letters and little erotic stories and it did have a whole section on anal sex! The letters were actually kind of dumb, a lot of them, but I did read *all* the ones on anal sex. And I couldn’t help myself: it was amazing to find those descriptions printed right in a magazine anyone could go out and buy!

“Well, how did you like the magazine?” Her first words when we met again. She was definitely tenacious.

“It was OK.”

“Ha! You *did* read it! I *knew* you would! How was the dildo?”

“Judy!”

“Well, the magazine is a start. I know you liked it or you wouldn’t have admitted to *OK*. Listen, have you seen any movies?”

“Movies?”

“X-rated movies! With anal sex! Oh, I can tell you haven’t. Well there are plenty that show it. Some even specialize in it. Kevin *loves* them.”

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

“You should rent one!”

“I couldn’t rent an X-rated movie!”

“Of course you could! Sure, it’s mostly guys in the X-rated section, but women do get them. You could pretend you’re getting it for your boyfriend.”

“Oh, right!”

“I mean it! Listen, you’ve *got* to see one. You really *won’t* believe what you’re seeing! Just go in next time you’re there and check them out.”

And believe it or not, I did! There was hardly anyone in the video store and after I picked out a recent comedy, I slipped into the back room.

There they were. Sleazy boxes, sexy boxes, silly boxes. I looked at a few and couldn’t believe what I saw. But I didn’t know which movie would have anal sex in it. Then I discovered the “A” section of the rack–tons of movies: Anal this and Anal that. But there was *no way* I was going to bring one of *those* up to the counter! I didn’t want to stay in there long, so I slipped back out.

“You did?” Judy had gotten me to admit going in there. “You didn’t rent anything, did you? You would have told me.”

“They were all so…”

“Yes?”

“Well, the ones about anal sex just had those titles.”

“Some of the others have anal sex too.”

“But which ones?”

“Ah ha! I see your problem! Listen: when Kevin and I rent one, I’ll loan it to you.”

“But… you wouldn’t tell Kevin, would you?”

She laughed! “Oh, Kevin and I don’t have secrets!” she said, laughing all the while. I wanted to just die! I’d just seen them both the night before, and now I knew he knew… I was so shocked I almost walked out on Judy right then. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she finally said, no longer laughing, “Listen: didn’t you ever share things? You will, when you finally get hooked up with the right guy. But stop worrying: Kevin and I’re real good about keeping each other’s secrets.” But it was Kevin himself I was embarrassed about–not some friends he might tell. “So, have you tried the dildo?”

I thought I was going to escape *that* question this time. “*No I haven’t*!”

“Listen, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you,” she said. She can be so patronizing.

The next night, she’s at the door of my apartment. With Kevin! She waltzes right in holding a videotape and a bottle of wine! “Look what we brought you!” I stared at them. I’m sure my eyes were like saucers. I found the video tape in my hands–she had pushed it there. I looked at it: *Anal Angels III*. I’m lucky I didn’t drop it on the floor when I read that.

I looked back at them, both smiling away. “We’ll watch it together,” Judy was saying. Kevin walked on into the living room, grabbing the tape out of my hand and I was relieved at having just a second alone with Judy.

“No!” I whispered fiercely.

“Oh, you know you want to see it,” she said, not lowering her voice a bit. “You know you’ll *love* it.” I wanted to push the point, but she walked past me into the living room and I was stuck with both of them. Kevin was putting the tape in the VCR. “Well, have you done it?” asked Judy. Right in front of Kevin!

“Where’s your corkscrew?” Kevin asked.

“You haven’t!” she went on. She didn’t bother waiting for me to answer. “Listen,” she added, and came over and grabbed my wrist, “go do it now.”

“What!?” I responded as she pulled on me toward my bedroom!

“Now!” she repeated. We were in the bedroom. “Where is it?” She was looking around. I thought she might start opening drawers.

“Judy!” It was a whisper since I couldn’t find my voice.

She looked back at me: “I *mean* it! Where is it?” I retrieved the brown bag from a drawer in my dresser. She pulled the dildo out and looked at it. “Do you have KY Jelly? Of course not.” She was out of the room. And back in again, pressing a tube in my hands. “We’ll leave the door open so we can hear you,” she said, and left!

I stood there. They started the VCR. I heard announcements and music. I wondered what the tape was showing. Then she was back in. “You’re not doing anything, are you? Get your pants off.”

“Judy, what’s gotten into you?”

“Come on, do it! *You* are the one who wants to know what this is like! Come on, I haven’t got all day! Get them off!” I stood there looking at her. She can be so determined. I started pulling them off. “Good,” she said with a little smile. She watched, waiting until I’d pulled them all the way off. “The underpants,” she added. I just knew Kevin could hear what she was saying! “OK, get going,” she said and left the room.

I heard a giggle, but it didn’t seem like they were giggling at me–I pictured them snuggling and kissing or something. I just sat there on the edge of the bed. Then Judy was in the room again. “You’re not going to do it, are you?” she said.

“Judy, please don’t do this!” I think I was whining.

She laughed. “Lie on the bed. Come on, do it.” Once again, she waited me out. “OK, turn over.” I turned over, laying on my stomach. She got on the bed, straddling my legs! I felt her fingers on my rear hole, putting KY Jelly there. Then I felt it. She was pressing it against me.

“Here it is! Your fondest dream!” she said. I felt it pressing. “Relax! You know you have to.” This was the last position I ever imagined myself in. I felt it pressing harder. “Relax. Make yourself take it.” I felt it start slipping in! It was so huge! My hands were flat on the bed and I was looking off the right side of the bed toward the wall. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” she said. It was in me! So far! “You *wanted me* to do it, didn’t you?” I turned my head the other way. I could see the door now. Kevin was standing there, watching.