Straddling Madeline: random thoughts

“Just this once let me sin for the joy of life, for the ancient and exquisite joy of sinning.”

I want to do whatever it is you tell me to do. Velvet blanket feels so good on my tense taught legs. Ram It Down playing on my mental juke joint. I’d crawl to get to that dick baby. So pleased to watch you coming. Thinking how revealing and soul opening it is to watch you do it. You come in my face and it’s so blatantly there. This pleasure you’ve had as an indirect result of me being here, nude with you. Just like how the nastiest spunk is tasteless when given as a command, the lack of a pulse between my legs is a nonissue if I feel I’ve followed your orders correctly. And he nods like he understands. I’d love to be in his bed next time. I’d love to tell him: that there, do NOT stop doing that. Pulse blip bump boom between the legs. Feeling every drop of blood flowing through every part of me.

He was behind me, me kind of on his lap. He had his legs wrapped around mine, held them open. He was messing with my pussy with one hand squeezed tween my thighs (which were clamped shut). The other was reaching around tweaking my tits. And he was very absent-minded about it all: like this sex act, my body, my pleasure, is sort of no big deal, like I’m his little plaything and he’s just amusing himself with my private sex acts and intimacies- like I’m a toy he fancies. Let me tell you how smitten I am with this man. I think of him often, mostly when I’m masturbating. I tie myself to myself and hold one arm behind my back. I gag my own mouth (though I’m not screaming). Then I think of him spitting up my ass. Just going ahead with it because he feels like it. Now I’m pulsing like a heart monitor or some sort of cold medical device but far from it. Imagine how I couldn’t push him off of me. I’m not screaming, so I must be enjoying it, as I slobber all over my hanky. Thinking how he’s stronger than me. Feeling the pumping of MY orgasm and imagining it’s HIS orgasm. Watching him maul on my breasts and I can’t reach out my own hand to my own body. I’ve lost control of my own body.

“Now she pleads for rape which she pictures as a steady announcement of rape.”

I hate being subjected to a blowjob when what I wants is to be fucked. I was told firmly but gently to make eye contact and “hush.” I was strapped with my arms overhead somehow- so my butt could be slapped while I’m frontly fucked. I was wrestled down and my protests were drowned out by his moans. “I am not gonna stop until you’ve had your orgasm.”

Now I’m tied spread eagle in his bed. Forced to let him see me. I can touch you here, anywhere I want. He removes my gag and I can do nothing but moan. Oral sex: he goes down on me and I come in his mouth. Thinking about my panties- being taken off- hands put into them. Big beating. In between. Warm. Wet and raw clit. I think about how I’d sit in his lap and he’d ask if I can feel it through his jeans. He’d hold me in place and shh my protests, maybe with a hand in my face. I’d say I can’t take it and he’d reassure me, “course you can, it’s all wet, and I can feel you expanding even if you don’t.” Before long I come and he says see? The orgasm actually causes my muscles to push the cock out- like the pleasure is the same as the act of rejecting the intruder.

My wrist hurts from leaning on it. Thinking about black men and abs and that song where he calls the girl “wet wet.” I’m told I’d be stretched out, ruined for other fucks. Taking the vibe off my clit for once makes me feel that much nicer when it returns. Nothing like a good vibrator to jump start a born masturbator. Now I’m thinking about being strip searched and finger fucked. Night stick pressed against my thong. Close up shot of my torso. My body scrutinized and found worthy of the fuck. Thoughts of…what else? Big hairy hand pulling my thighs apart. Hand over my mouth: “shh don’t let anyone find out you’re getting off on this.” Filling me up and leaving a hole when it pulls out. I was tied up in Dino Sex’s van. Tied by my jeans with my legs together, jeans pulled around my knees. Flashlight shined on my pretty parts. I came quietly with a hankerchief clamped in my mouth and my tits hanging out of my bra. Forgot I was menstruating. After I have an orgasm my lips are redder and my teeth are whiter. I run with little fairy steps. My body feels warm and so murky.